As humans, it is part of our sin nature to be jealous of people or things. A wife may be jealous of the beautiful woman that works with her husband. A teenager may be jealous of the new girl at her school. A young married couple may be jealous of the financially-established family that is traveling to Europe. I’m sure you can think of very specific times or seasons where jealousy has been a struggle for you. It definitely has been for me, and I often struggle to know how to fight the onslaught of jealousy that the enemy throws at me.
While I have been thinking a lot about this topic, the Lord has taught me (through a bible study on the life of David) that jealousy is often times rooted in fear. In 1 Samuel 18, King Saul begins to “watch David jealously” after the Israelite people begin to sing David’s praises over those of their own king. Let’s think about the fear that is rooted in each of the previous scenarios:
- Saul is jealous of David because he fears that David will win over the respect of the Israelites and take over his role as king.
- The wife is jealous of her husband’s beautiful coworker because she fears that her husband will be attracted to her.
- The teenage girl is jealous of the new girl because she fears that her friends will be more interested in the new girl than her.
- The newlyweds are jealous of the world-travelers because they fear that they are missing out on a big adventure.
Jealousy itself may be a difficult struggle to combat, but fear… that is something that God’s Word clearly teaches us how to fight. The Bible repeatedly states that we should not fear because God is with us. Deuteronomy 31:8 says “The LORD is the one who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.” Joshua 1:9 states “Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Isaiah 41:10 says “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.” According to these passages (and many more) the way to combat fear is by having confidence that God is with you… that He will not abandon you. If this truth is the solution to fear, and fear is the root of jealousy, then this is how to fight jealousy in our hearts and minds!
But how do these things connect to one another? You may think “How does my jealousy over someone else getting my dream job have anything to do with ‘God being with me’?” “I am jealous that he got the job that I wanted… but hey, it’s okay because God is with me.” Or “I am so jealous that he won the game-winning shot instead of me… but God will never abandon me, so it’s all good.” There still seems to be somewhat of a disconnect in this theory if we don’t also understand fear. Fear is a self-focused emotion. Think about it: each one of these examples, if played out, would ultimately result in hurt for the jealous person.
- My husband is attracted to his coworker = hurt and heartache for me
- My friends like the new girl more than me = hurt and rejection for me
- I’m not able to travel the world like someone else = hurt and fear of missing out for me
- He got the job over me = hurt and disappointment for me
- He made the game-winning shot = hurt and lack of recognition for me
While fear itself can be a response to a multitude of things, the fear that leads to jealousy is often times rooted in selfish desire. This is where the confidence in God’s never changing presence can be a solution. Through God’s emphasis of His consistent presence in times of fear, He is teaching us that HE is all that we need. His presence is enough for us. His presence is sweeter than the love of any other. Walking daily in His presence is just as exciting as traveling the world. His presence can sustain us even when we don’t get the job or make the game-winning shot. The Holy Spirit of God that lives in us can and should give us everything that we need every day of our lives, for the rest of our lives.
So the next time that jealousy creeps in (or jumps in full-force), STOP, identify the deep-rooted fear of the issue, and remind yourself that God is with you and will never leave you.
-AL